Flip it

Studio 83 dropped a Redirection issue and I took my time getting to it. Good thing I did, I feel I might have dropped every thing, fought with the wife, turned to a new chapter of my life after one last hug of our babies. Yeah man change is; a constant tinnitus buzz in your ear; that often times painful in some way necessity; the sun to the shadow of your frustrations; and it still just is. Oh and I haven’t even started reading the articles further then the pull quotes…

Weighing the life options for me is always a distressingly laborious task. Not for reasons you would assume, my life choices are abundant, my cup "raneth" over from the day I was born. Just picking one choice and liking it for is merits alone eludes me at every turn, there always seems to be one more nuance I can get out of the choices I make, and so I am never satisfied. I feel if I am to expand energy on a direction that I take it has got to give back and give back big. It has never been about money (well… until the first kid came) more about the sum total of what I intend to leave. That sum total is the stories I will tell my grand children… and maybe my own children if they have time for me. You see, my plan is to raise children that are independent. And you know… maybe I am taking it too far, by wishing for them to be so independent they could do a Mars mission and think nothing of the many years of isolation that it takes to get there and back. But also have no problem integrating when they do get back… so you know… take it as it is and make it work. My father went from the ox cart to the jet plane in one lifetime; there really isn’t a better story out there. But he never really gets to tell it… the choices he must have made. A world of lessons lives in those stories.

I look back on my life at any point in time and the one constant is the (excuse me) unchosen choices lying there for all the world like breadcrumbs. Maybe crumbs for our children to follow, bread crumbs for those I aspire to one day inspire, or just to remind me where not to return to. Its all the same, I shudder at what I feel must be the squandering my mom used to wag a finger about. I have been happy flipping it every now and again for no other reason but to see if taking a blind turn will lead me into a blind alley, it has yet to happen, there is always light at the end of my tunnel.

Yeah man, so flip (re)direction a la Studio 83… nice lynch pin, great time in my life as well. More choices have just come flooding in. And I again I am agonising. If its money, I am winning either way. Interesting stuff? Naturally. Interesting people? Obviously. Where to start, what to pick…


Pic Geraint Warlow