Black by toke demand

Home coming is a fancy term for running away from all things sucky and right back to comfort zone city... that's what I am about to do, recession permitting, in like nine days. Kaap City here I come biyatch, I hope you are ready and I am bringing friends! Sad and a tad sick as it is in the masochistic sense, that city was a bitter pill to swallow and a bitter pill to eject from myself. It was so bad I left everything behind... EVERTYHING, who knows what has happened to it. I would like to think my books were too good to just throw out, my music too diverse to pawn, my clothes too eclectic to leave on the side walk, my pictures from the last 12 years too full of life to just kill in the bin... It was hard but it had to be done, something was just not growing.

Living in close proximity to an import to the city who was suddenly more entitled then even I was, a person that could not see the flaws they were enjoying and taking for granted, scared me. Scared me in that I felt I was going to suddenly become previously disadvantaged right then and there. Loose my ability to express my frustration verbally and resort to showing my frustration physically instead. You either hurt yourself or hurt someone else. Don't take my word for it, but ask a Bergie all about that. I imagine you will get a tale of how things were better in the good old days, then maybe they were only second in line in the grander scheme of things so hope wasn’t all that hopeless. Now they appear to have moved to third in line, since the blecks have moved to the front of the queue now. I got that one day when a bergie told me, "At least I am not bleck!" DUDE! I felt like I had just toked sumting nca... when I got out of that daze, I saw die kaap differently. My fancy job at a nice company, my fancy address, my actually fuckin amazing friends, it wasn’t enough yo, that shit had to change. I had to change, I was a shell.

Cape Town is deceptive like that, it is what you make it after all, I just didn't like what I had made it. Everything was tainted, time had to heal this wound, except it had to be time away. Away I went, but end of next week I believe I will be back... still never having being previously disadvantaged and bring my own slice of reality in the friends I will be with, the wife I am now married to and the temporary nature of my stay in the city... in rented accommodation no doubt!

I lost so much to that City as a physical place except it made space for me to gain so much more... rather. In losing so much I found I had only hung on even tighter to certain memories, certain people, certain experiences, maybe it was a cleansing of sorts... who knows, but that horse has thrown me off for the last time, I shall be riding high this time around. I can not call it a triumphant return by a long shot since it was never a victory that had to be proved, however there is something right in this way of visiting the beautiful cape. It is more the way I have always been, I have always been a visitor, always with a place to return to, and it might have just been that I forgot that for a few years and inadvertently tried to transplant my roots unnecessarily.